Futu Situ = Gambian Wedding

I had several opportunities to attend the traditional Gambian wedding. One of them was the wedding of my host sister, Sarata, which took place in my family’s compound.

Traditionally the courtship begins with the offering of kola nuts to the parents of the bride-to-be by the suitor's family. If the father accepts them, a dowry is discussed and a date for the ceremony at the mosque is arranged. The wedding of my host sister got scheduled a week after the start of the courtship.

The wedding was going to be a small gathering for the extended family but it turned into a large celebration for family, friends and village people. In the Gambia there is no official invitation to the celebrations (programs, as they call them here). Everyone is invited! Large number of guests demonstrates that the family is known, respected and liked in the community.

The preparation started a night before the wedding day. I came home in the evening and found about twenty women in the process of preparing the food, chatting and laughing continuously. Enormous cooking pots and cooking utensils made me suspicious of the indicated “small gathering”. I joined the women force in peeling and cutting cassava for ebbe, one of the foods loved by Gambian women but I am still indifferent to this strangely tasting food. So that night the fish was fried, chicken marinated, and vegetables prepared for cooking.

Early next morning as I was leaving for work I found handful of women at out compound sweeping, fetching water, organizing and preparing for the daylong cooking event. At work I was anxious to be at home, observe and help with the preparation so I left work early and rushed home. When I entered my family’s compound, I was astounded - about four to five dozen women were cooking, eating, or sitting and chatting. The enormous pots were boiling on the fire and women like witches from fairy tale stirring the ingredients inside them. When I entered the party, all the eyes got fixed on me, the toubaab women. I was staring at this party speechless and they all were staring at me – questioning. Since the food preparation was nearly completed I sat with the women and tried to communicate making them laugh from my flimsy Mandinka. Later in the afternoon the dancing party started with few women beating the rhythm on the bidongs and several other fiercely dancing and laughing. The party was attended by the griots, people from the entertainer cast, who went around collecting money (5D usually) for praising each person’s family name. They are considered the local historians, because they keep history of each family and share it with others during the celebrations. The stories are passed among griots from generation to generation. I was approached by several of them and listened glorification of Bojang family (my local name is Fatou Bojang) and their name. The guests also give money to the drummers, cooks and grandmothers. So called “mama palato” (grandmothers plate) is placed during the celebration to collect the donation for the grandparents. There are many “mama palato” circling around because in their extended family situation there are many grandparents.

Anyway, in the same afternoon the bride was send-off to get a hair do and dressed for the celebration. While she was away the festivities continued and more women kept arriving. Food was served as it was prepared: rice porridge for lunch, afterwards – ebbe and benachin.

The “knot tie” was scheduled for 5pm at the main Mosque. The ceremony is attended only by men. They discuss the duties, arrangements; say the speeches and prayers. Kola nuts are handed over as well as the groom’s side pays the dowry to bride’s family. The groom was working and did not attend the ceremony (I learned that the wedding can take place even if the groom and bride are outside the country and living in different continents). After the “knot was tied” the men came to our home for the meal after which they quickly departed.

The celebration moved to the next empty compound where the music equipment and lights for discothèque were set up. The guests (women) kept arriving, in my opinion, they easily exceedied a hundred. Each dressed up in “completos” of different vibrant colors and massive jewelry. The dancing and celebration continued without “main guests”. Guests were served ebbe and salad (chicken, fried onions and potatoes placed on the bed of salad).

Bride arrived late in the evening, after the sunset. After visiting with the close family she made a grand entrance into the dance area encircled by the guests. Strangely to me but typically to them, she looked serious and sad. A special song was played for her entrance and she was surrounded by dancing women. After she sat down she got surrounded by people who came to congratulate her and take pictures with her. Then she went around the circle of guests so all of them can congratulate her. I did not see her smiling even once. The dance and more money giving (usually 5-10 dalasi) to the bride followed. The music and dancing continued late into the night after the bride and most of the guests left the celebration.

The strangest thing to me was absence of the groom at the ceremony. It was a celebration for bride and the women. No men were present (except for the young boys).  

The marriage ceremony is very important here. The ceremony differs from area to area and from tribe to tribe. Some of them can last up to three days. This wedding, I think, was a mix of the traditional ceremony and modern (western) elements.